#94 M: He'll make mincemeat out of you!

1931. dir. Fritz Lang, starring Peter Lorre, Ellen Widmann, Inge Landgut. German with subtitles.

Seen it before? No.



"M" is for "Murderer", or whatever the German word for Murderer is. There's a depraved child killer (Peter Lorre) on the loose, and he's making everyone anxious and paranoid. (Although not quite paranoid enough; people still seem fine with letting their children walk home unsupervised.) The police have responded by instituting random raids and searches, which is making life difficult for the local crime syndicate. So they have a meeting, and decide they are going to capture him themselves. I'm not sure how much sense this plan makes. Suppose they capture him and kill him, which is what they wanted to do - wouldn't the police still be looking for the killer? So It's a race to see who captures him first, the police or the criminals. The police use CSI: 1930's Germany techniques: fingerprinting, evidence gathering, handwriting analysis, and the like. The criminals hire the beggars (who are surprisingly well organized) as an army of informants.

This is a great movie. Peter Lorre is terribly creepy as the killer who doesn't quite understand what he's doing. This movie is at times suspenseful, and darkly funny.

Position on the list: 56
You're a slacker, McFly!: You are 9 reviews behind, Bambi. Get cracking!

#93 Bonnie And Clyde: They'll bury them side by side

1967. dir. Arthur Penn, starring Warren Beatty, Faye Dunaway, Gene Hackman, Estelle Parsons, Michael Pollard.

Seen it before? No.

I consider Warren Beatty to be one of the all-time biggest wastes of talent. Check out his imdb entry: Everything he's done since 1981 has been crap-ola. I distinctly remember seeing Dick Tracy as a child, and even then I was like, well that sucked. And mind you, I did not have particularly discriminating taste in movies back then.

It's a shame, because this movie, which Beatty produced when he was 28, is revolutionary. First of all, it is the godfather of graphic film violence. There's a scene early on where Clyde shoots a guy in the face, and he immediately gets all bloody and falls off the car. This had never before been done all in one shot, and wouldn't have even been possible in Hays Code era Hollywood. I'm sure it was pretty shocking at the time. I'm all desensitized to it myself, since this was my other favorite movie back in 1990. Also revolutionary is the way it's shot; lots of jump-cuts, handheld shots, that sort of thing. That's the influence of the French New Wave, but this is one of the first American movies to feel this jittery and kinetic.

As for the performances, I'd say Faye Dunaway as Bonnie carries this movie; Beatty plays Clyde Barrow as sort of a one-dimensional cartoon, but Dunaway shows a lot more vulnerability and inner conflict. Probably my favorite scene in the movie is her family reunion towards the end, where she meets her mother for the last time; the scene feels more like a funeral and Dunaway just nails it.

Position on the list: 215
Hey! It's that guy: Dub Taylor, who's in pretty much every Western ever made, including yet another of my 1990 favorites, Back To The Future Part III.
Obligatory Simpsons quote: "They didn't start chasing us until you turned on that getaway music!"

#92 Double Indemnity: Ten times twice as dangerous

1944. dir. Billy Wilder, starring Barbara Stanwyck, Fred MacMurray, Edward G. Robinson.

Seen it before? No.

You know, it's amazing how many of these movies have been parodied or referenced somehow on The Simpsons. This blog could be 95% Simpsons references if I didn't restrain myself. Stealing, stealing, stealing a car for Moe...

Mild-mannered insurance salesman Walter Neff (Fred MacMurray) goes out to visit his client Mr. Dietrichson to renew some car insurance policies. He's not home, but his wife (Barbara Stanwyck, with a terrible blonde wig) is; he gets infatuated with her. Actually this part of the movie is pretty funny. If you were an insurance salesman back in the 40's, would you really go around drinking on the job and openly propositioning your clients? Sounds like fun. I think it's hilarious that the part of her that he's the most attracted to is her ankle. I guess that's the Hays code for you.

Anyway and the two of them hatch a plan to take out an insurance policy on Mr. Dietrichson and then murder him. The plan they come up with is actually pretty good, and it does fool the police. Unfortunately for them, Neff's coworker at the insurance company is Barton Keyes (Edward G. Robinson), who is a total genius and has a knack for sniffing out suspicious claims. I wish he could have been in the movie more, because I love it when movies show intelligent characters.

So it's your basic Hitchcock-esque suspense movie, kind of like Dial M For Murder. Highly recommended if you like film noir.

Position on the list: 57
And here's a weird coincidence: Miklos Rosza did the score for this and the previous movie, Ben Hur. That score was epic... this one was OK I guess.

#91 Ben-Hur: A strange inconsistency in this man

1959. dir. William Wyler, starring Charlton Heston, Jack Hawkins, Haya Harareet, Stephen Boyd.

Seen it before? No.

A huge movie in every respect; scope, cast, budget, running time (at 3 hours and 42 minutes, it's the longest movie we've seen so far, and maybe the longest on the whole list; I'm not sure). This film won 11 Academy Awards, which is tied with Titanic and Lord Of the Rings: Return Of The King for the most ever. A lot of the attention this movie received is due to the chariot race scene, which was awesome.



It's a fairly simple story. Judah Ben-Hur (Charlton Heston) is a Jewish nobleman. His childhood friend Messala (Stephen Boyd) becomes the Roman tribune in charge of Judea. The Jews are resisting the rule of the Romans, so Messala makes an example of Judah by selling him into slavery. Judah then saves the life of a consul, who brings him to Rome and employs him as a chariot driver. This puts him in a position to obtain his revenge on Messala. So if you're thinking, "Hey, isn't that basically the same plot as Gladiator?", give yourself a gold star.

Of course the plot takes sort of a strange turn at the end, where this robed guy whose face we never see gets crucified, and this somehow magically solves everyone's problems. What's up with that? Totally gimmicky, deus ex machina ending. Disappointing.

Position on the list: 140
Homoeroticism, yay!: Gore Vidal was an uncredited screenwriter on this movie, and deliberately added some sexual tension between Judah and Messala.

#86 Grave of the Fireflies - this was in the KIDS section??!? You've GOT to be kidding me!

1988. Dir. Isao Takahata, starring Tsutomu Tatsumi, Ayano Shiraishi. Japanese with subtitles.

Seen it before? No.

I know this is movie number 86 which means I am eleven behind so let's try to catch up...

One thing I can say about this movie is that it really, truly depressed the hell out of me. See, it's a cartoon, so you think, well, light-hearted and kid-friendly, but the overwhelming theme here is death and consequences...and I should have gotten that since the title has the word GRAVE in it.

An adolescent boy and his much younger sister are sent to a relative's home when their mother becomes gravely ill (and then passes away) after getting bombed in WWII Japan. Their father is in the Japanese navy and the boy sends word but never gets a reply. Meanwhile the aunt treats the kids poorly and steals from them forcing the boy to make a decision to live in an abandoned mine and fend for themselves...not the smartest idea...

You know what's worse? This is based on a true story meaning many more kids in Japan during WWII probably went through the loss of both parents and siblings just like in this movie...

Sam and I talked about it. This movie vs Requiem...the main difference is that there were circumstances beyond the kid's control in this movie whereas the four main characters in Requiem screwed themselves up...

NEVER seeing this again
Don't want to own it either.
If I want to watch a sad movie I'll watch A Walk to Remember thank you very much.

#85 The African Queen - Can you make a torpedo? <--THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!!!!

1951. Dir. John Huston, starring Humphrey Bogart, Katherine Hepburn.

Seen it before? No.

On Facebook I believe I said that I was pleasantly surprised by this movie. Did you know that The African Queen was a love story? I didn't! It was fun, with witty dialog and that Katharine Hepburn is awesome as a British missionary who wants to sabotage a German boat as revenge for burning (and terrorizing) her village. Humphrey Bogart was pretty hilarious as the captain of the small ship. Their banter was great - kind of like Claudette Colbert and Clark Gable in It Happened One Night. The chemistry of the two actors playing their characters was subtle but very believable unlike the last movie mentioned!

I particularly liked when they realized love was staring at them in the face and asked each other what their first names were...

Watch it again? HECK YES!
Own it? Sure!

#90 Goodfellas: Now, now, you insulted him a little bit.

1990. dir. Martin Scorsese, starring Ray Liotta, Robert DeNiro, Joe Pesci, Lorraine Bracco, Paul Sorvino.

Seen it before? I could probably recite the entire thing from memory at this point

Scorsese's masterpiece, which somehow lost out to stupid Dances With Wolves at the 1990 Oscars. Ray Liotta plays real-life Mob informant Henry Hill, and we see his rise to wealth and power, and then his decline. Memorable performances all around; Robert DeNiro is quietly intimidating. Joe Pesci uses "fuck" the way most people use commas. In fact so does everybody else, this movie is like a F-bomb symphony.

My favorite scenes:

"What, like a clown? Like I'm here to fuckin' amuse you?"

"Now go home and get your fucking shine box."

The scene where Henry introduces all of the gangsters. Love Pete The Killer ("I took care of that thing for ya") and Jimmy Two Times ("I'm gonna go get the papers get the papers.")

Tommy's mother making dinner for them at 3 AM... Tommy borrows the butcher knife.

The famous Copacabana tracking shot.

The whole "Jump Into The Fire" sequence where Henry is strung out on drugs. It's 9 minutes long, and he just gets more and more jittery and paranoid. I find this Karen line hilarious for some reason: "Will you please stop feeding the dog from the table... from the plate on top of it!"

The scene where they're in prison, and Paulie is shaving the garlic with the razor blade. I gotta try that.

Position on the list: 15
Animaniacs: Hey, remember the Goodfeathers? That shit made no sense until I saw this movie. Why would they have expected kids to have seen an ultraviolent, swear-filled R-rated movie? Sheeeeeeeit.

#89 My Neighbor Totoro: It was a dream! But it was not a dream!

1988. dir. Hayao Miyazaki, starring Noriko Hidaka, Chika Sakamoto. Japanese with subtitles.

Seen it before? No.

Our third and final voyage into the twisted labyrinth of Hayao Miyazaki's mind. This one was probably our favorite. It's the story of a father and his two daughters (ages 10-ish and 4) who move into a run-down house in the countryside.The girls seem pretty enthusiastic about the move, and they find strange and mysterious creatures as they explore the new house.

Bambi was worried that this would turn into Grave of the Fireflies and that they would die horribly but thankfully everything was fine. Rated G so no horrible vomiting pigs or decapitations here. "Totoro" is pretty funny, I guess he's supposed to be a troll but he looks more like a panda or something. Oh and there are three of them for some reason. I don't know. This makes more sense than Spirited Away or Princess Mononoke but that isn't hard to do.

I have to say I liked this better than what Disney was doing at the time. It's rare for a kids movie to have actual children in it who actually act like children.

Position on the list: 242
Daniel's favorite part: The Cat Bus. Exactly what it sounds like.

#84 Glory - a ballad for otherwise unsung heroes

1989. dir. Edward Zwick, starring Matthew Broderick, Denzel Washington, Cary Elwes, Morgan Freeman, Andre Braugher.

Seen it before? Yes.

Yes, Sam, we DID have to watch this movie in hs history class.

When I was younger I wanted to watch every single Matthew Broderick movie and this was one I watched...though not in 1989. Have I mentioned that I hate it when attractive men get hurt in movies or television shows? I think so...this was no exception...Denzel's whipping scene where you see the tear come from his eye...it crushes me every time.

Since Sam already summed up the movie I'll move on to the motivations behind people's actions...we can already figure out the reason behind Robert Gould Shaw's actions - treating his childhood friend turned volunteer soldier like all the rest to avoid favoritism, making sure his men were equipped properly since they were not given the proper shoes or guns, not accepting pay because the men were not getting equal amount of money as the white soldiers, etc. Noble, honest, Shaw was portrayed as a great man who was fighting for a great cause. But why did his father volunteer him for such a responsibility as commanding the first troop of black soldiers? Was it because he didn't think his son would actually have to go into combat? The asshole white soldiers...COME ON! The black soldiers are on the same freaking side! Why treat them with such disrespect? ARGH!

The battle scenes were excellent considering no CGI was used. I loved Cary Elwes in this too. Especially when he called Robert on being unkind to the men and the line about the Irish...HILARIOUS!

See it again? Yes
Own it? I would
Last thoughts...Yes, Sam, it would appear Morgan Freeman hasn't aged in the last 20 years...I think he's a robot...

#88 The Matrix: I know kung-fu.

1999. dir. The Wachowski Brothers, starring Keanu Reeves, Carrie-Anne Moss, Laurence Fishburne, Joe Pantoliano, Hugo Weaving.

Seen it before? Yes.


I've only seen this once before, back in college. One of the guys in the dorm had this amazing new device called a DVD player (A whole movie? On a CD? Get the fuck out of here) and this was the movie we watched. All of us were blown away by the amazing visual effects, which still hold up today. You know, like when Neo ducks backwards under the bullets, and you see the vapor trails? Or when Trinity jumps up in the air, pauses, the camera rotates 180 degrees, and then she kicks the guy in the face? It's all still awesome. Unfortunately, one thing that does not hold up is the script...

I hate to belabor a point that's been made a thousand times already, but it must be said: The machine's plan makes no sense. You're keeping the humans alive for what, heat, electricity? You have to feed them something (no, feeding them ground up dead people isn't enough) and you'll get a very low power yield, something like 1-2%. But OK, if you must have "bio electricity"... why not use chimps? Or pigs, or dogs, or cows? Less likely to form a resistance.

But OK, fine. I guess there would be no movie if they did that. So there's this complex computer simulation where everyone's mind is trapped. The machines use "agents" to keep people from trying to escape. The agents are bound by the same laws of physics as everyone else. WHY? Clearly these people have never designed a computer game. If you want an unbeatable AI, CHEAT! Give the agents super weapons with unlimited ammo! Make them fly, make them invisible, make them all-knowing, make them indestructible! Why not? It's a computer simulation, you can do anything you want.

Neo, we're told, is "The One". Like, the Chosen One. Ugh. I hate this narrative device. It was lame when Harry Potter used it, it was lame when Star Wars: Episode I used it, and it's lame here. He's chosen. By whom? How? Why? He has super powers because he's the One. He's the One because he has super powers. WTF???

Speaking of Star Wars, could they have ripped off Obi-Wan or Yoda any more blatantly with Morpheus's dialogue? I half expected him to say "Search out with your feelings, Luke."

Why does almost everyone on the Nebuchadnezzar have to go with when Neo visits the Oracle? Why was this so important? The Oracle gave him a bunch of vague meaningless bullshit advice. Couldn't they have done this over the phone?

This gives Cypher the chance to betray everybody. he kills everyone who isn't a main character. Then, even though he blew a huge hole in Tank's body, Tank gets up and kills him right before he can kill Neo or Trinity. How conveeeenient. Tank seemed fine after that, because I guess the movie needed him to work the computers during the final battle scene. It's like they forgot that he got shot at all.

Morpheus says: "No one can explain the Matrix to you." Uh, yeah, you can! Read the Wikipedia article on this movie, it explains the whole thing in like four sentences. Maybe if you told these people what they were getting into before making them swallow the red pill, you wouldn't have gotten betrayed. Just sayin'.

Position on the list: 25
The most disappointing movie-going experience ever: The Matrix Reloaded. can't believe I wasted 9 bucks on that...
Actually, wait, that's not true: Both Pirates of the Carribean sequels