Thursday, April 22, 2010

#100 Star Trek: Prepare the red matter

2009. dir. J.J. Abrams, starring Christopher Pine, Zachary Quinto, Zoe Saldana, Karl Urban, John Cho, Bruce Greenwood, Simon Pegg, Eric Bana.

Seen it before? Yes.

This is J.J. Abram's "re-boot" of the Star Trek movies, which had gotten increasingly low-budget and shitty. Good move starting over, as the Next Generation cast had been getting increasingly old and paunchy. This one is shiny and fun. And very shiny. J.J. Abrams sure does love that artificial lens flare effect. Hope nobody tells him about the star wipe.

I think I would be pissed off about this movie if I was a Trekkie. OK, so Nero goes back in time through a black hole, and ends up completely rewriting the history of Star Trek. Oddly, pretty much everything ends up as the status quo, with Kirk as the captain, Spock as first officer, etc. But doesn't this mean nothing from Star Trek: The Original Series, or Star Trek: the Next Generation, or Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, or Star Trek: Voyager, or Star Trek: Special Victims Unit actually happened? Like, all the time people spent watching those shows was wasted?

And gosh, wasn't it lucky that Kirk got marooned on a planet that not only had Spock Prime on it, but the only engineer in the galaxy who could figure out trans-warp beaming? Wasn't that convenient? Oh, and at the end of the movie, they blow up all of the Red matter and create a black hole, and Nero gets sucked into it. So wouldn't that make him go back in time again? I mean, that's what happened the first time...

Position on the list: 159
Dammit, Jim: I'm a doctor. They did a great job of capturing everyone's catch phrases. She canna take much more!

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