Sunday, January 17, 2010

#24 Return of the Jedi: There is... another... sk... Sky... walk... er... (urk)

1983. dir. Richard Marquand, starring Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Billy Dee Williams, Ian McDiarmid, Anthony Daniels, James Earl Jones.

See it before? Yep.

This one is better than I remember, particularly the first half, but it's still the worst of the original trilogy. The movie comes to a crashing halt at about the halfway point, when they introduce the Ewoks. Oh, they're cute and cuddly, and they just crap all over the whole story by turning into a Home Alone movie. Seriously, the Emperor sends down a squad of his best soldiers, and they get beaten by some crappy booby traps? This is a military version of what I've seen described as the "dumb Watson" effect -- the author needs to make a character appear smart, so they have him outwit people, but it backfires because the people he outwits are morons. Just as in the first movie, the Empire just makes countless mistakes.

C-3PO just plain sucked. I kept track, and he pretty much did one useful thing the entire trilogy: disable the trash compactor on the Death Star. Besides that, he just bitched and slowed everybody down.

Obi-Wan: "So what I told you was true... from a certain point of view." You're such a cock, Obi-Wan.

I forgot how cool the Jabba's Palace sequence was. (Too bad Boba Fett had to die like a bitch.) Also Ian McDiarmid is great as the Emperor. Love the Scottish accent.

Well that's about it. I do NOT recommend watching all three of those movies in a row. You get super irritated with some of the characters, particularly Chewbacca and the droids.

Position on the list: 103
Thing I can't convince my wife to do: Watch both Godfather movies in a row. Wouldn't that be awesome?

P.S. Screw you, George Lucas. (No, we didn't watch this version; we watched the original cut with Sebastian Shaw.)


  1. Chewy pisses you off, yet the teddy bear picnic doesn't?

  2. I'm in an even greater minority: the minority that thinks Episode II would have been better with more Jar Jar, detailing his turn to the dark side. I seriously think that was at one point the entire plot of Episode II, and just got edited out of script drafts, leaving mostly filler until the end.