Saturday, March 27, 2010

#82 The Lion King: Forgive me for not leaping for joy... bad back, you know

1994. dir.Roger Allers and Rob Minkoff, starring Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Matthew Broderick, Jeremy Irons, James Earl Jones, Moira Kelly, Nathan Lane.

Seen it before? Sort of. It was on a 25-hour bus trip with marching band in high school. The VCR didn't quite work so it kept stopping every couple of minutes. I wasn't really paying attention.

Yes, I was a band geek in high school... Mr. Tipps, the band director, was a good teacher, and I did like him, but he had a tin ear for picking out music. OK, well the symphonic band stuff was mostly pretty good, if a little Sousa-heavy; we played some great stuff like Incantation and Dance and Crown Imperial. No, I'm talking about the Pep Band music. I distinctly remember a basketball game where the Saxons just barely held off Hoffman Estates, and the gym was packed, and right after the game was over we played "The Circle Of Life". No, seriously, we did! There were 800 people in the gym when the song started and about 8 when we finished. Cleared the place out like a fart in a Volkswagen.

So yeah. This movie has some jaw-droppingly amazing backgrounds and animation, and some of the worst songs ever. "I Just Can't Wait To Be King" and "Hakuna Matata" are just nails on a blackboard to me, and the less said about "Can You Feel The Love Tonight", the better. (Yes, Tipps made us play that one also.)

This movie has some pretty bad plot holes. OK, what, so Scar takes over as king, and it stops raining? And this is his fault? And then Simba kills him, and that automatically makes everything better? Why? How? And why does Simba think it's his fault that Mufasa died? Scar told him to sit on the rock and wait. I mean, the whole thing makes no sense. And it has Jonathan Taylor Thomas's voice in it, which almost single-handedly negates the coolness of James Earl Jones and Jeremy Irons, who are both awesome. Oh, and fart jokes! Thanks for that, Disney.

Watch it with the mute button.

Position on the list: 146
Worst band song ever: Save The Best For Last by Vanessa Williams. I believe that one was in junior high, not high school. It sucked every bit as bad as it sounds.

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