Monday, January 4, 2010

#6 (500) Days Of Summer: Please please please let me let me let me let me get what I want

2009. dir. Marc Webb, starring Zooey Deschanel, Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

Seen it before? No.

Aspires to be this generation's Annie Hall... but there are some problems. I'll put them in list form.
(85) Joseph Gordon-Levitt's character. Holy Jesus where do I start. What a gash. Everything is whine whine whine with this guy.

(119) The use of 80's pop culture references and indie music as a shortcut to characterization. Oooh, you're playing Donkey Kong! ooh, Knight Rider, ooh, Belle and Sebastian! shut up.

(4) The obviousness. She had a dream where she was flying, and she was all alone, and she felt safe. GEE WHAT COULD THAT POSSIBLY MEAN. Her name is Summer, but the scenes on the number cards get progressively more autumn-y as the numbers get higher. UHH IS THAT SYMBOLIC?

(20) The split screen thing. Stop it.

(85) Seriously. Man, she said she didn't want a boyfriend. Get over it, you're acting like she murdered a busload of orphans.

(9) Montages set to pop music! It should be against the law to have more than one per movie. This thing had like seven. What is this, One Tree Hill?

(207) The all-knowing pre-teen. GAAH I hate that when they have kids talk like adults. Kids can't give you useful advice. They don't know shit.

(85) Ohhh no she didn't listen to your mixtape? You poor baby.

(92) The greeting card thing. Too many easy jokes. Oh and now you're quitting! So you can be more real. And work on your ARCHITECTURE so you can build something that wil LAST instead of something TEMPORARY like your GREETING CARDS. Oh please please tell me if it's symbolic! I can't figure it out on my own. Maybe the NARRATOR can explain it to me.

(334) Yeah. There's a narrator. Very very few movies need narrators, and usually they're an indication that your movie is "telling" when it should be "showing". Narrators can be interesting, when they take on a life of their own. Like the Big Lebowski, or the unreliable narration in Goodfellas. This guy just sucked.

(85) Yeah I really just can't get past this. She SAID, in like the FIRST GODDAMN conversation you had with her, that she didn't want anything serious. When somebody says this, they really mean they don't want to be serious WITH YOU. Everybody knows this. I was in a relationship like this in high school. When the girl said it was over, I didn't get angry. I let it go. And I said to myself, this is the business we've chosen; I didn't ask who gave the order, because it had nothing to do with business!

What was I talking about again?

Position on the list: 225
Actually: It wasn't that bad, I just enjoy bitching.

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